I'm a sinner, at best
by bebewrites
Summary: AU, Klabekah ; She can't bear to let go of him. He's an insufferable ass, but her heart belongs to him, even if he's not very careful with it. She holds out hope that will change someday.
1. Chapter 1

**AU in which Klaus and Bekah have always had those awkward, incestuous feelings, which only got worse the older they got. Pretty much follows canon timeline still. Not quite sure if this will turn out into a full-fledged story or bits and pieces of their current lives and their past, but I can assure you there will be smut at some point, so beware.**

**Last warning for incest.  
**

* * *

She loved him far more than she should have considering they were brother and sister, considering they were not always on the best of terms, but what else could she do? Loving Klaus just came so easily, if not painfully at the same time. It was a bittersweet dance they'd been doing since they were children, human, naive… There were the summer days where her and Nik would run wild and free through the plains of their homeland, and then were were those winter nights were they would huddle beneath a fur blanket, cuddled close together to stay as warm as they could, whispering secrets to each other in the firelight.

Rebekah savored every memory like a lovesick adolescent.

Even when things were hard, they had managed to find the good and they had stuck together through all of it. She'd expected that would never change after decades of the two of them on the run from Mikael, with Elijah occasionally choosing to join the duo. But there was quite a big problem concerning Klaus: he had a temper and a rather nasty one at that, especially when it came to his sister and whomever she chose to fall in love with.

Really, Klaus killing off or wiping the memories of her long list of lovers was a recurring theme in their lives, but Rebekah continued to believe that her brother might change his mind at some point and perhaps she had figured he might spare her, allow her some happiness outside of the world they had built for themselves. All he had given her was a dagger in the chest and a broken heart several times over. Things hadn't even changed when she'd found Stefan Salvatore, a man that Nik adored almost as much as Rebekah.

Ninety years later she was back from another temporary death and there was still a pain in her when she watched Nik, experiencing just how cold he could be to his only sister that he had used to completely adore. Part of her regretted going to Chicago all those decades ago, falling so hard and fast for Stefan and enjoying every single moment of pleasure with him. She should have known it would only lead to pain, after all, she'd seen the way Nik had watched her, jealousy in his deep blue eyes, betraying his smile.

She was his. She would always be, even if her heart constantly tried to flit away to another man.

* * *

The sun had finally dipped beneath the horizon in New Orleans, painting the sky hues of purple, red, and orange, and Rebekah watched from the porch of the home she was sharing with her brothers, a light breeze making her blonde strands roll over her shoulders. She was lost in her thoughts _again_, mind drifting back to the news of her brother's unexpected pregnancy with that werewolf harlot, Hayley. It stung far more than she expected it to, after all, everything wonderful she had ever shared with Klaus was far in the past, yet that unadulterated want for him still remained. She'd never gotten so jealous when he'd taken other women to his bed before. But the difference was that he would always come back to Rebekah after those trysts, shower her with kisses and adoration, owning her body until she cried his name out in completion.

She hadn't felt that in far too long and she knew no man could ever come close to her brother, not even Stefan, as much as she loved him once upon a time when they were both a century younger.

Rebekah hadn't realized how long she had been outside, but when she focused again, the sky was a heavy black and she could hear the sounds of the New Orleans nightlife in the distance, both humans and vampires having a bit of fun. She could be out there, she could find some handsome tourist or native to bring back to the house. She could take him until they were both sated, then she could slowly drain his blood and leave him going to the afterlife with a pleasant feeling.

But just because she could, didn't mean she wanted to.

She finally pulled herself away from the porch and made her way back inside the antebellum style home, closing the front door behind her and shutting out the noise from the city. She expected her brothers were gone for the night, with Elijah staying occupied with Hayley and the child, and Klaus making his plans to take back control of New Orleans from Marcel, but coming out into the main living space of the house, her half-brother was seated on the couch, his sketchbook in his lap. He was moving a piece of charcoal over the sheet of paper in quick strokes and he seemed to be completely focused on his work. Rebekah didn't want to disturb him for fear he might be in one of his moods, yet when she tried to move past him casually on her way to the liquor cabinet for a stiff drink, his blue eyes were suddenly capturing her and she was frozen in place.

"Rebekah," he said, breaking the silence, scaring the blonde as she was unable to read any sort of emotion from him. His voice was in that usual drawl of his and gazing at the man, she had the sudden urge to kiss him, to make sure everything was well, in spite of herself. She shouldn't! She should be very angry with him, but Rebekah knew just how hard it was to stay cross with the man who had been her favorite brother.

"No plans tonight, Niklaus," she managed to ask in reply, setting her hands on her hips and watching him with what she hoped came across as annoyance of some kind.

The woman expected one of his signature smirks in return, but it seemed like Nik was caught in some sort of spell of melancholy, dropping his gaze from hers and looking back at his sketchbook. "No. No plans. Our dear older brother has gone to occupy-"

"Your mate," she cut in, earning a surprised look from Klaus, his head snapping back up. Oh, he did _not_ like that word, especially not for Hayley, which was easy to see by the anger simmering around his blue eyes. "Well, is that not what she is? I mean, you managed to get her pregnant, which is mating-if we're going by technical terms-and considering you both have those base animal instincts about you…"

Rebekah suddenly turned on her heel from him and made her way for the cabinet again, her hips swaying back and forth as she moved. She was just reaching for a bottle of top shelf whiskey when she felt the whoosh of air that meant Klaus was suddenly right beside her. She didn't bother looking up into his face.

"You play a rather clever game, sister, but I know how you feel inside."

She held back that urge to tense, turning away to grab a glass in which to pour her nightcap into, trying to be as completely casual as possible around that wolf of a brother of hers. "I'm not playing any games, Nik. Just because you are, doesn't mean you have to assume I am as well." Her feelings - everything she wanted him to mean to her again - was not any sort of game and she would never grovel for his heart or his body again. Let that whore werewolf of his take it. She'd never compare to Rebekah anyways.

Staring up at him, she expected him to either hit her or kiss her, but he did neither, instead resting a warm hand on top of her naked wrist and letting it come to sit there for just a moment. She felt closer to him than she'd felt in a long time from that touch and it only succeeded in making her want him more after she'd _just_ made that promise that she'd let him go.

But she couldn't. It was asking the impossible. Rebekah wasn't strong enough to walk away from him. She never had been.


	2. Chapter 2

She'd been young once, achingly human and _stupid_ enough to step straight into the fire of a passion that slowly consumed her through the years. It was the first big mistake in a line of many that had only continued the longer she walked the earth. Niklaus was different a thousand years ago in their youth-he was kind, sweet, soft, and gentle. He'd known what love was, even if the only time he had felt it was from his siblings. Esther and Mikael had been relentlessly cruel to him and it was easy to see why Nik had put up such tall walls around himself. How could he let anyone else in when he was scarred for all eternity?

He'd even denied his sister and she was the first woman that he had ever desired. Was there any hope left in him? Would having this child with Hayley really change things? Elijah seemed to believe so, but in Bekah's eyes, Nik was still just a scared boy, unsure how to truly make his way in the world, lashing out at everything he feared.

If only things could be as simple as they were when they were all young.

Lying in bed at night, she could remember it all and she'd let herself get lost in those memories, if only for a shred of solace from her brother's cruelty.

* * *

Rebekah's laughter filled the air as she tumbled down into the long grass and flowers of the clearing, her brother close at her side. It was just the two of them today since Mikael had decided to take their other brothers out hunting. Bekah had taken pity on her poor Niklaus and decided to drag him along in her hunt for herbs for their mother to keep him occupied and from moping. It had gone twice as quickly with her brother's help (and she was honestly surprised at all the things he knew) and her basket was full, leaving the teenagers to enjoy themselves in the bright sunlight of the afternoon. It was warm out, but there was a cool breeze blowing that ruffled strands of blond and left the air comfortable to relax in.

"I am glad that I could have your company today, Niklaus. It would not have been half as fun with any other," she told him after a moment of silence, catching her breath from their short, playful chase through the woods. She was being completely honest though, staring up at him with wide blue eyes, cheeks slightly flushed.

"It's not surprising, honestly," the man replied with a sigh, rolling onto his back and placing both hands behind his head. "That...Mikael would choose to leave me behind. He has no love for me, Bekah." There was venom in his voice...but also fear. All he'd wanted was acceptance from his step-father, but it seemed as though the man had none to spare. He had four perfectly good sons that were his in blood. Nik was just the leftover bastard, never good enough, as hard as he may try.

But Rebekah felt for him-she truly did-and to see her brother in pain caused her heart to ache. The only time Niklaus seemed to find true comfort was in her presence. He didn't have to pretend to be anyone or anything else. He was good as he was.

"But I have love for you. So much love that it cannot be measured." And the girl smiled at him while she moved onto her side, propping her head onto her hand. She was put at ease when her brother's eyes met her own and she reached out, tucking back a few strands of dirty blond that had gotten in his face. Her light touch seemed to be the perfect comfort for him and his eyes fell shut slowly as his sister continued to examine him.

"Someday, all of this will mean nothing. You will find a wonderful wife, have many little children, and you will be happy."

Niklaus chuckled, but his eyes remained closed. "I highly doubt that Mikael would ever let that happen."

"Then I will have to marry you," Bekah responded suddenly, causing her brother to open his blue-green eyes wide, though he didn't move from under the touch of her hand that had come to rest on his chest. "Our father would have me wed off soon, and there is no man I could bear to be with when you would be unhappy without me." She swallowed and ducked her head, her hand forming a fist against her brother. "I will never abandon you, Niklaus. I promise."

He was silent for a few moments, looking off into the bright blue sky, though eventually his focus gravitated back to his only sister and his lips curled into the softest of smiles. "I would never leave you either, sister," he replied to her, pulling Bekah's hand up to his lips and pressing a kiss to her warm skin. "Though, we would have to run away, you know. Mikael would flay me while I am still breathing."

Nik was laughing and it was a true laugh, one that Rebekah couldn't help responding to, practically pouncing onto the man at her side and tucking her head underneath his chin. She felt safe and loved, like nothing could ruin this moment between them. "Then we _would_ run away and we would always be free and happy and things would be wonderful, Niklaus," she promised further, sliding her hand down to find his own in the grass, entwining their fingers tightly together and giving a squeeze. She pulled her head back for a bit and stared into his familiar eyes, swallowing.

She wanted to kiss him and from the look on her brother's face, the feeling was quite mutual. Rebekah had always been brave and strong, even now, and she would not let anything hold her back, even the fear of her youth. Niklaus would not be beaten and Rebekah would not be chastised for anything that happened in the sanctity of this forest clearing. No one would know.

She touched her lips down to her brother's in a sweet kiss, her mouth soft on his; she was gentle and hardly had any experience in this sort of thing, but the girl saw no point in bringing it beyond a chaste exchange between siblings, as much as a part of her wanted to, remembering the fact that she had just offered herself up at Niklaus' future wife. It didn't quite hit her what she had truly given to him until now with this kiss, but she would never take her promise back-never break her brother's already fragile heart. The kiss might not have seemed so natural, but she didn't know what was anymore. Should she not trust her heart?

Rebekah pulled her head back from the man's and gazed into his eyes, her cheeks growing red from the flush of embarrassment. Niklaus was studying her, seeming rather pleased, and she was certain he knew that that was her first true kiss.

Better it go to him than any other man.

"I neglected to tell you earlier," he started as she sat up in the grass, rearranging her dress, her focus moving back to her half-brother for the moment. "I love you without measure as well, Bekah."

* * *

Rebekah stifled her sob in the silence of her bedroom in New Orleans, her eyes closed tight as tears rolled down her face. Part of the curse of eternity was remembering all your pain and realizing that the best memories hurt the most. Niklaus would never be that sweet boy again, he would never be anything besides the monster he had created in himself. It was an uncomfortable thought to try and lull herself to sleep with.


End file.
